We've all seen them, and sometimes we are them. The guy who shows off his entire torso in a super loose stringer vest or the guy who wears his Tough Mudder finisher's shirt to let everyone know he's done it. These are the men's gym clothes stereotypes that we love to hate and are guaranteed to make an appearance at your gym in one form or another.
This article is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously or cause offence.
The Post-Contest T-shirt
This guy has completed an Ironman triathlon or a Tough Mudder event so he has earned his bragging rights and will wear that t-shirt whenever and wherever possible. Gym? Perfect! Out to dinner? You've got to let your date know your priorities. Best friend's wedding? Maybe a step too far.
The Stringer Vest
Be careful not to startle this guy by out-lifting him, you may cause a nipple slip. Men in their stringer vests are more interested in their own cleavage than any woman's. Being able to pull off a stringer vest is almost like a certificate of size and these guys have earned their string vest status. The more muscle on show the better. This is also most likely to be the guy you can hear grunting and starts his workout with bicep curls.
The 'What's Leg Day?' Sweatpants
There is no way the guy in sweatpants is doing anything other than an upper body workout. How do I know? Because running in sweatpants is an absolute no-go. Whilst they may be fine for upper body strength workouts, when it comes to cardio, sweatpants do what they say on the tin and will seriously make you sweat. It's possible this guy is trying to hide the fact he's never done a leg workout in his life, but we won't bring that up with him while he's curling in the squat rack.
The Guy With Every Bit Of Gear Possible
This guy seems to think that by investing in every bit of kit possible, he’ll be good at everything. Ever heard the phrase 'all the gear, no idea'? He wears a lifting belt for tricep dips, gloves for barbell work, knee sleeves on the bench, lifting straps, wraps, sweatbands... this guy has it all. Except for proper form or technique.
The Toe Shoes
This guy tends to be Mr. Know-it-all, granted his knowledge is vast and in the most part very interesting, but have no doubt this guy will let you know about it. A man brave enough to wear toe shoes is brave enough to boast about their benefits to anyone who crosses his path. These guys will run better, lift with better form, and suffer fewer aches and have no doubt they’ll tell you it's all down to their footwear. And for some unknown reason, these are always the guys practising Kung-Fu in front of the lifting platforms.
This guy is brave and wears running leggings with no shorts over the top. Having the confidence to wear running tights without shorts is an achievement in itself, no matter what the workout. The argument is that these tights are designed with technical function to enable you to achieve your best throughout the training session and if you’re doing a session with any type of squatting or lunging, you don’t want your movement to be restricted by layering shorts over the top. If you’ve invested in a pair of running tights, you’ve most likely also invested enough into your training to have the kind of legs to pull them off.
The Football Shirt
Chances are this guy could have been a professional footballer, but suffered a knee/hamstring injury and now slaves away in an office 9-5 instead of following his dream of being the next David Beckham. He was also handpicked by a club to play semi-professionally when he was 17. Now he runs on the gym treadmill for 20 minutes every night to work off the beer he drinks while watching the football at the pub.
The Gym’s Own Branded Kit
This is your typical beginner exerciser. They received the welcome pack of a sweat towel, water bottle, and gym top when they signed up and felt oh-so motivated to change their life now that they've finally taken the plunge to actually join a gym. They wear their t-shirt with pride and do group fitness classes but seriously have no clue what they're doing.
The Technical Top
These guys go hard and they need gym clothes that can keep up with the intensity of their workouts, so they invest in technical fabrics which have been tested to perform under pressure. These guys are at the gym so much they’re practically part of the furniture. Despite the fact he’d hate to admit it, this guy will think, “I bet I can out-run him though” every time anyone out-lifts him, or “I bet I out-lift him though” if someone dares to do their cardio faster than him. They want to be the best, so they wear the best.
Now, we might be a little biased, but wearing Sundried gym clothes will steer you clear of any negative stereotypes.