Your gym clothes tell a story.
Next time you’re bored on the cross trainer, take a gaze around your gym. I guarantee you will be able to spot every one of these stereotypes and hey, if it gives you a chuckle along the way and makes your cardio more entertaining, it’s gotta be worth a read.
The Post-Contest T shirt
This guy has completed an Ironman, so he has earned his bragging rights and will wear that T shirt whenever and wherever possible… Gym? Perfect! Out to dinner? Still good. Best friends wedding? I guarantee underneath that suit there is an Ironman competitor T shirt, waiting to be bust out once the drunken speeches start.
The Stringer Vest
Be careful not to startle this guy by out lifting him, you may cause a nipple slip. Men in their stringer vests are more interested in their own cleavage than any woman's. Being able to pull off a stringer vest is almost like a certificate of size and these guys have earned their string vest status. The more muscle on show the better. This is also most likely to be the guy you can hear grunting.
There is no way the guy in sweatpants is doing anything other than lifting. How do I know? Because running in sweatpants is like sticking your legs in the oven. On full heat. Whilst sweatpants are fine for upper body weight- based workouts, when it comes to cardio sweatpants do what they say on the tin and will seriously make you sweat, those baggy drop crotches are going to restrict your running stride as well, it’s like trying to run with your pants down.
The Short Shorts
These should only be worn for running, running far, far away from the gym. When you're pounding the pavements these are perfect for keeping you cool and comfortable whilst you run, plus the general public only see you in them as you flash by. Wear them in the gym and it’s a different kind of flash we’re worried about, it’s a whole new ‘ball’ game. If you’re going to wear shorts, opt for a pair which sit just above the knee, providing adequate coverage and freedom of movement to allow you to squat. Teeny weeny shorts lack style and substance.
The Guy with Every Bit of Gear Possible
This guy seems to think that by investing in every bit of kit possible, he’ll be good at everything. Ever heard the phrase all the gear, no idea? Lifting belts, gloves, knee protection, lifting straps, wraps, sweatbands and even headbands don’t all need to be worn at once. Lose the gloves and earn your calluses, your forearms will thank you. As for headbands, I’m pretty sure only Beck’s could pull off that look.
This guy tends to be Mr. Know it all, granted his knowledge is vast and in the most part very interesting, but have no doubt this guy will let you know about it. A man brave enough to wear toe shoes, is brave enough to boast about their benefits to anyone who crosses his path. These guys will run better, lift with better form and suffer fewer aches and have no doubt they’ll tell you it's all down to their footwear, all whilst glaring at your cushioned sole with a piercing look of disappointment.
Running Tights - Minus The Shorts
This guy is brave and usually, ahem, blessed. Having the confidence to wear running tights without shorts is an achievement in itself, never mind your workout. The argument is that these tights are designed with technical function to enable you to achieve your best throughout the training session and if you’re doing a session with any form of squatting/ lunging, you don’t want your movement to be restricted by layering shorts over the top. If you’ve invested in a pair of running tights, you’ve most likely also invested a lot into your training to have the kind of legs to pull them off.
The Football Shirt
Chances are this person could have been a professional footballer, but suffered some form of knee/hamstring injury and now slaves away in an office 9-5. Now they keep up their cardio to work off the beer belly in the making from watching the football down the pub instead.
The Gym’s Own Branded Kit
Oh come on now. This one's like wearing like wearing uniform on non-uniform day. It’s great that joining up to your gym makes you feel part of something but isn’t that motivation enough? The full gym brand kit just isn’t cool.
Slogan T shirts
Half of what I read on slogan T shirts, I realise the person wearing it would probably never actually have the nerve to say. Worst offenders include “Get ripped, Get laid”, “Does this body make you look fat?” and “Cheat on your girlfriend, Not your workout”. Horrendous. Wearing a t shirt like this in the gym should be banned surely? What do these gym clothes say about you? That you need to bin your t shirt. Better yet, burn it.
Elevation Training Masks
“No-one cared who I was before I put on the mask”. Training with an elevation mask does make you look like Bane and earn you a few odd glances from other members, but it’s also a sign of someone who is putting themselves through a very intensive training programme and for that they should be commended. Elevation training masks restrict your oxygen uptake as though you were at high altitude, so you’re forced to take deeper, harder breathes. Elevation training masks will help you regulate your breathing, increase lung stamina, lung capacity, oxygen efficiency and increase overall mental focus. Elevation training masks can help your overall performance in all sports and daily living, plus make you look like a supervillain.
You’d think it’s a given that men should wear a top in the gym. I get that they may have a chiseled physique and I get that it’s hot when training hard but, 1) save something for your other half 2) the right fit sleeveless gym top would keep you cool and cover your nipples. Save the puddles on benches, invest in a T shirt. Trust me, the women will prefer it. No one likes a show off. If women want to see topless men, they watch Magic Mike.
The Technical Top
These guys go hard and they need gym clothes that can keep up with the intensity of their workouts, so they invest in technical fabrics which have been tested to perform under pressure. These guys are at the gym so much they’re practically part of the furniture. Despite the fact he’d hate to admit it, this guy will think, “I bet I can outrun him though” every time anyone out lifts him, or “I bet I outlift him though” if someone dares to do their cardio faster than him. They want to be the best, so they wear the best.
Now, we might be a little biased, but wearing Sundried gym clothes will steer you clear of any negative stereotypes.