What do your gym clothes say about you?
Did you know, women’s gym clothes have a language of their own?
Allow me to translate.
(P.s have your pinch of salt at the ready).
Head to Toe in Black
The best line I’ve ever heard as to why women wear all black to the gym isn’t because it’s slimming. No, “I wear all black to the gym because it’s the funeral for my fat”. Women who wear all black to the gym mean business, they need an outfit that they can easily blend with their regular wardrobe and don’t need to draw attention to themselves with lairy prints or slogan shirts. Don’t get in these women’s way, their workouts will be timed to perfection as sleek as their wardrobes, with their heart rate monitored throughout. So don’t even think about trying to make small talk to the woman in black!
The Co-ordinated Queens
These women have got it together. They somehow manage to train with impeccable hair and there’s not a stray or frizz in sight. These women don’t “sweat” they sparkle. Their outfits have been planned long in advance, along with their Monday socks, knickers, trainers and accessories. For these women, looking the part is as important as the workout itself, their dress is like a motivational warm up and wearing a complete outfit gives them that extra edge to perform a killer workout.
So Bright it’s Blinding
These are the women you simply cannot miss. They wear so many colours you half expect them to bust into “any dream will do” (that’s from Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat, for those of you who forgot) and when they run at speed on the treadmill their blur can be easily confused with a firework. That’s exactly what these women are, firecrackers, their clothing is an extension of their training philosophy, confident, energetic and most of all fun. Most of these women will do Zumba at least once a week and are happy to give everything a go with their training. No move is too crazy and no outfit is off limits.
The Baggier the Better
These women tend to be a little more self-conscious and a good pair of sweatpants will cover any insecurities. That’s not to say these women aren't working hard, in fact that extra clothing will have them sweating like a pig, but they don’t mind, no these are the “sweat is fat crying” clan. Baggy women’s gym clothes tend to be popular at the beginning of women’s fitness journeys as they build the confidence and motivation to go out and get technically advanced kit.
The Sports Star
Sports stars are women who train in their athletic kit, from netball vests to football shirts. These women are motivated by being part of a team and wearing their sports kit to the gym reminds them they belong to something. Typically they’re as competitive with their training as they are with their sport. These are the kinds of women who will set their treadmill 1 mph faster than the person next to them, lift at least one set higher a pair of dumbbells than you and change their entire workout if anyone else's looks even in the slightest bit more challenging. The Sports uniform is a status symbol, it’s the same as the women wearing their tough mudder t shirts (or other event t shirt) at any given opportunity, it’s to show off an achievement they’re proud of. And so they should be.
These are women with willpower. The ladies that make both the men AND women gulp. Teeny sports bras and hotpants cover up what makes the outfit acceptable, but every other nook, crevice, muscle and vein are on show. Their clothing may be small, but their training attitude is BIG. These women have earnt their physiques and live by the rules: “If you’ve got it, flaunt it”. Contrary to popular belief, these women are not aliens or goddesses, but just women with extreme determination and self belief. They stick to their diets and they stick to their training and boy, does it show.
Swear by Slogans
The women who swear by a slogan, won’t train without some sort of pep talk being displayed across their front. They use this a visual reminder of what it is their working towards, for example catch phrases such as: “Results or Excuses”, “Sore today. Strong tomorrow” or the classic “No pain. No gain” give these women a gentle reminder not to give in everytime they glance in the mirror. However when it comes to: “Gym and Tonic” or “Exercise… Extra fries?”, I’m afraid you’ve lost me.
Regardless of what women wear in the gym, we’re all there for the same reason, to get fit. Whether you’re the best dressed or the worst, what’s really important isn’t judging others by what they’re wearing it’s about getting fit and healthy … unless of course you’re gym tops reads “ Sex, Weights and Protein shakes” . Then you have my permission to judge away.
Kidding. I’m Kidding...